jealousy


I hate jealousy its just a terrible feeling and I'm dealing with it currently. I was hoping you guys can comment and help me with this issue T_T! its tearing me apart inside and it just sucks.

I went to my friends party and on the way to the park we picked up one of his friends that i met once because she used to go to school with them. She was really nice and sweet ! Kindda reminded me of myself.

first let me tell you this:

Well i also like one of my guy friends, but now im trying to forget about him because i feel that he'll just hurt me anyway. he likes to flirt with other girls to make them feel special and that is just not right. It tears me up inside because i actually fall for his "charm" and yet i dont want to love him. He also thinks I'm geeky because i love anime and cosplaying (which i tell him i am because ...i am ^^) but then says it negatively and im thinking but your just like me but worse (he's a kinky guy), he probibly thinks im dumb too because for some reason its like the things i do and dont mean to do or say just come out wrong u know? i normally dont act like that around my other friends !! so two things are agains me im a geek and dumb. I feel frustrated too because i know thats not me and not what im all about. He's like really confusing too because he says that he wants other girlfriends later on(flings he says) but he wants his actual wife (if u will) to like anime, cosplay, smart, blah blah. He told me once if i knew anyone thats cute and likes to cosplay and i said no because im the only one . so why would he say that because he knows i dont have other cosplaying friends that he'd be interested in . i know his taste too. he's picky. And i sometimes think "am i your perfect special someone"? so its just very stupid and i dont know what to do anymore.

Ok! so back to what im talking about with jealousy:

so the girl that we picked up! we dont really hang out with her cause she's more of a foreign friend. like she's not in our inner circle and we only seen her twice ! haha! ok so we were hanging out but i notice that the guy i like but dont want to like is always with her. I felt jealous then. I hated it. not them but just the fact i was jealous and feeling very terrible and broken inside. He'd occationally come over to me and poke me to make me squirm and give me attention but still i felt so jealous of the other girl. When i met her for the first time he was paying more attention to me and not her. How do i get over him? How do i stop feeling jealous and having this aching feeling inside? I think i'm just a jealous person. I had no idea. I never felt this way before. I feel like crap T_T !